Sexual tension is something that is rarely consciously cultivated or even talked about for that matter. The reason for this is because it is a subjective experience between two people that is hard to define. The things that we cannot define are usually not at the forefront of our conscious experience as we need words and symbols in order to represent things to ourselves in order to make them a part of our reality.
Sexual tension, or unresolved sexual tension can be defined as a tension or discomfort that arises between two sexually compatible people who have real or imagined interference that stands in the way of their ability to experience sexual union.
If you’ve ever had the ….pleasure… of reading any romance novels or watching any of those girly movies, you will see that sexual tension is one of the main ingrediants in just about any female fantasy.
Can this mysterious quality be cultivated? Is there something that we as men MUST do to inspire this feeling between ourselves and the women we desire?
The answer is a suprising NO.
Now before you get all depressed and give up on learning how to create this mysterious connection with the women of your dreams, understand that building sexual tension is more of a NOT DOING than it is something you create. Once it’s there, it can be increased, but know that in order for the tension to be built upon, there is little that you can DO to create that initial seed.
Sexual tension automatically exists between men and women. The reason why it normally doesn’t survive is because we tend to do things to destroy it because by its very nature, sexual tension is a form of discomfort. The more you DO to create sexual tension, the more likely you are to destroy it!
There is an unspoken sexual chemistry that naturally exists between men and women that is so pervasive that we tend to ignore it. Any male can have sex with any female. When you really begin to understand this, you will see that the simple fact that you are a man makes you attractive.
So sexual chemistry naturally occurs when you as a male interact with a female. Sexual tension occurs when the both of you begin to realise that there are things that get in the way of the two of you having sex. You retain sexual tension by not doing the things that relieve this discomfort. Here is a list of the things that you can do to allow this tension to build, or rather, allow it to remain. The tension will build the more the woman realises the factors that stand in the way of the two of you doing the horizontal Mambo.
Sexual tension builds / accumulates when:
- you DONT look away when you make eye contact
- you DONT pull your hand away first when you shake hands
- you DONT speak to break awkward silences (this is important specially when you first begin interacting with a woman, in person or one the phone- let her squirm and let her find something to say to carry the conversation!)
- you DONT diffuse awkward moments for her
- you DONT aknowledge any tests or signs of rejection from her
- you DONT show emotional reaction through facial mannerisms or body language (as a result of any positive or negative interaction. Being UNreactive is a masculine and attractive quality…
- you DONT lay your cards on the table and let her know just how into her you are. Mysteriousness and uncertainty go a LONG way in building tension!
Be aware that women are just as programmed to break the discomfort of sexual tension as you are. They often do this by touching you (touch can diffuse or escalate sexual tension depending on how its used). Sometimes they will try to introduce logical conversation when they are feeling horny in an effort to escape the emotion or feeling of horniness. When you become tuned into this, you simply dont allow them to do whatever it is they are trying to do in order to bleed off the tension.
BTW- sexual tension can be built verbally, physically and emotionally. Experiment and observe.
You should also be aware that sexual tension should not simply be built, built, built. If you allow the tension to build too much, at the wrong time or wrong place, it can backfire. She may flake, act crazy or even become violent in extreme circumstances. It is much better to allow the tension to build, release it a bit and then build it back over again. Over and over, you want to create a rhythm. This will create a tremendous pull (aka ‘attraction’) and will allow her to indulge in her attraction for you without setting off warning signals that you are some kind of player. The exception to this, is when you are in a place that you will be able to go forward and end up sleeping with the girl. In a situation like this, you want to create as much sexual tension as possible. Sexual tension between two people is one of the main ingredients for good sex!
