If you want to learn how to build sexual tension with your wife or girlfriend so that you can have sex more frequently or more passionately, you will be surprised to learn just how easy it is to do. Many men come from a place of sexual scarcity and end up shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to getting their sexual needs met because of this. If you are in a committed relationship, it can be hard to sub communicate that you aren’t sexually needy, specially if your partner knows that you aren’t having any sex.
One of the first thing that often goes out the window in long term relationships is all of the good sex that the couple used to have in the beginning of the courtship. You will often see men either begging their wives for it, or complaining to others that they never have sex. It’s quite sad to imagine being in it for the long haul and never having the sexual fulfillment that you require. Romantic relationships are after all sexual in nature. Sure, there is more to a loving relationship than just sex, but if you aren’t having sex, you may as well married a friend instead of a lover. Many people forget this, and all too often people become complacent and resign themselves to the fact that their sex life is basically over or nearly non existent. Im here to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way and I am also going to go out on a limb and say that chances are pretty good that the reason why things are that way is your fault! As the male in the relationship, it is your job to lead, and it is your job to make sure that your partner maintains a certain amount of attraction for you.
In order for a sexual relationship to flourish, both partners need to remain attracted to each other on some level. Of course, it is only natural for things to stagnate or to feel as if you are getting tired of the same old crackers when you have been with the same person for years and years. It is entirely your responsibility to make sure that a certain level of tension remains between the two of you if you are going to maintain a healthy relationship. When the tension goes, there will no longer be any excitement when the two of you have sex.
So how exactly do you maintain sexual tension, and how do you do this with someone who you have been together with for a long period of time? Understand that in order to build sexual tension, it involves the desire for sex coupled with an opposing force that gets in the way. Without this opposing force, there is no tension. Without the tension, the sex gets boring, quick! Look at any female romance novel or romantic movie – the main character in the story ALWAYS suffers a dilemma. There is always an element of unresolved sexual tension with the object of her desire, even after she has already had sex with the guy!
So how do you create this opposing force?
Once you do this a couple of times, it gets ridiculously easy. You simply throw up false barriers to sex. There are a variety of ways to do this, and the possibilities are endless.
Stare at a desirable part of your partners body out in public and when she asks you what you are doing, tell her what you would do to her, if only you weren’t at church.
Another way you can play around with this is to create hoops for her to jump through. In a joking fashion, if you see her struggling to accomplish something, tell her that you only give sex to women who are smart enough to figure out how to work the remote.
Of course you need to calibrate this to your wife or girlfriend, if there have been repeated fights about the remote or if she has some kind of hang up with the fact that she thinks you think she is stupid, then that line is going to backfire big time.
The ‘formula’ for sexual tension is as follows: draw attention to, or assume that sexual desire is present (it probably is even if she acts like it isn’t) and then create an imaginary barrier (that she will be able to overcome). You can do this indefinitely. You can even do this while having sex. Make her ask permission to come, if she forgets to — stop, make her suffer! You can easily travel into the realm of BDSM once you find yourself enjoying this kind of role play. You can never go wrong increasing the amount of sexual tension. You can continue to ramp it up as much as you like –even during intercourse. Just make sure to pay attention to the reactions that you are getting from your partner and make the necessary adjustments. And if you are one of those petty types, never use this to directly punish your partner in a vindictive fashion.
